Sometimes the Headline Says it All

From the CNN homepage today. Always some of the most surprising, insightful reporting you can find on the internet. In other breaking news, water is wet, I'm hilarious, and CNN blows goats.

Here's a real headline for you: I went all day with my boxer shorts on backwards today. I didn't discover this fact until I went into the bathroom at work and spent a solid thirty seconds fumbling for my junk before realizing the fly was in the rear. At that point I spent another solid thirty wondering whether to just go through the cloth or to take advantage of this unique situation and fart a little more than I normally would.

After I had stood at the toilet for a full minute I was reminded by text message that not only is Barack very excited about tonight, but that most men's underwear is made with an elastic strap that allows for the pulling down of said underwear, far enough to snake even the smallest of penises over the top. I hear this modification was made for just such instances as my... ahem. Little problem.

The even funnier part is that I am still wearing the boxers backwards for the simple lack of desire to completely remove them in any place other than my own home. Never-nude? Sort of. Sort of.

Happy Obama Day, you slack-jawed jerkpots.